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              我以朋友的名义,爱了他好多年

              时间:2017-11-02 来源:原创 作者:一尺素 阅读:9
                

                文/一尺素qq1550963284
                首发公众号《零度物语》
                
                周杰伦把爱情比喻成龙卷风,很贴切,因为很多人,一辈子都没见过龙卷风,见过的,不死必伤。
                
                1/
                
                我刚下班,接到老杨电话,他语气听起来有些低沉,说:“老姚,晚上,我们老地方见!”
                
                所谓的老地方不过是后街的烧烤摊。我和老杨十几年的朋友,不过我们一点都不老,才奔三。以前每次有喜事庆;蛘吖蝗サ目捕蓟嵯嘣既ド湛咎,互诉心事。
                
                我赶到时,老杨的脸通红,看来已经喝大了。刚抽出凳子坐下,他便一只手抹眼泪,一只手扯我胳膊,说:“老姚,你说我是不是很差劲啊,女朋友都特么跟别人跑了?”
                
                我把被风吹得凌乱的长发往后撩了撩,假装若无其事,抓起桌上的羊肉串撕了几口,“说吧,这次又怎么了?”
                
                他哭得像个孩子,看来这次他是认真的了。他越伤心,我越心痛。
                
                想起那句话:得不到的永远在骚动,被偏爱的都有恃无恐。正如老杨对他女友,我对老杨。
                
                
                2/
                
                在学生时代,老杨趁着有几分姿到处撩妹,我是他的信使,也是他的挡箭牌。
                
                高二那年,学校要举行元旦晚会,我本不想参加,但班主任放话了必须参加。没办法,我只好硬着头皮,放学后和同学一起在教室排练节目。
                
                隔壁班的老杨来找我一起回家,眼睛却直勾勾地盯着我们班班长,我也没想到从来板着脸的班长唱歌会那么好听。
                
                从此老杨便疯狂追求,找我替他写情书,要我了解班长的喜好和习惯。以陪我排练为由,正大光明地带着可乐和零食讨好大家,主要是为了讨好班长。
                
                后来,他们在一起了,但没过多久,因为不合适又分开了。
                
                3/
                
                老杨有好几任女朋友,性格特点完全不一样。我问过他到底喜欢什么样的女生,他说长头发,有点粘人,会做饭的,这样的女生都行。
                
                高中毕业后我开始留长发,在大学的空余时间也学了不少厨艺。老杨已经算是情场老手了,看到我这些变化,却假装看不见。他知道我心里的秘密,却假装不知道。
                
                不过这样也好,没有捅破那层窗户纸,依旧可以是最好的朋友。
                
                直到工作了,老杨约我去烧烤摊。他带着他女朋友媛媛去了,现在应该也是前女友。刚看到媛媛时,我很意外。她没有长发,也不粘人,一身黑色皮衣,双手揣在口袋里,看起来很酷,反而是老杨乐呵呵地搂着她的肩。
                
                老杨举起右手,竖起三根手指头,说:“老姚,你是我最好的朋友,给我做个见证,如果以后我没有娶媛媛,这辈子我都不结婚了!彼婧笤阪骆铝成习蛇笄琢艘豢,媛媛嫌弃地看了他一眼。
                
                4/
                
                在和媛媛初次认识后,感觉她不像其他女生那样,看到我和老杨要好的关系,对我表面一套背面一套?杉词故钦庋,我还是像以前一样,在他有女朋友时,自动远离,怕他女友误会。即便他像平常一样约我吃饭,我也会找各种借口拒绝。
                
                自从老杨和媛媛在一起后,他像变了一个人。经常在朋友圈秀他和媛媛的合照,他听说有一个会拍照的男朋友的女生有多幸福,便在网上找课程学习拍照,学习修图。他以前从来不在朋友圈秀恩爱的,说太俗。
                
                媛媛对老杨说不上很好,也没有很差。偶尔会因为老杨一顿可口的饭菜感动,但大多时候都是冷冰冰的,她忙于工作,野心不小。
                
                这个世界就是这么奇妙,原本花心的人到最后反而最痴情。老杨没什么远大的志向,工作也是得过且过,遇见媛媛后,却开始努力工作了,他害怕跟不上她的脚步,害怕她会嫌弃他,所以拼命往前赶。
                
                媛媛生日那天,老杨邀请了许多朋友在家里过,我也去了。媛媛和她的朋友坐在客厅聊天,老杨在厨房忙晚饭,我帮他打下手。
                
                老杨进进出出,一会儿给她们倒茶,一会儿给她们洗水果,忙地不亦乐乎。最后,餐桌上有一桌子的菜,大多数都是媛媛喜欢吃的,老杨坐在她身旁,不停地给她夹菜。
                
                大家都在说真羡慕媛媛有这么好的男朋友,是的,我也挺羡慕。我记得老杨以前说想要找个会做饭的女朋友,结果到最后,是他想要管住媛媛的胃和她的心。
                
                他和我聊天是这样说的:“媛媛和其他女生不一样,她不粘人,我却时时刻刻想见她,想为她做好一切,想把所有的好都给她,即便她对我无动于衷。只要我爱她就行了!
                
                看着他拼命讨好媛媛的样子,我难受得要命。
                
                5/
                
                以前的回忆历历在目,如今,看着老杨痛哭的样子,我倒希望他还是那个吊儿郎当,什么事都一副自信满满的老杨。他说:“为什么我这么努力了,媛媛还是要离开我,我一心一意对她,她还是和初恋走了!
                
                或许媛媛从来没不喜欢过老杨,那时候媛媛正和初恋分手,为了气她初恋,便答应了老杨。即使老杨的好无可挑剔,可毕竟抵不上初恋的一句话:我知道错了,你回来吧。
                
                后来,老杨趴在桌上,嘟囔着什么。我说:“为什么你就看不到我呢?为什么我爱的人在别人眼里什么都不是!崩涎蠲凰祷,不知是真醉了,还是假装睡了不想回答。
                
                其实我也知道,我和老杨永远不会成为情侣,彼此熟得像左右手,没有冲动,也没有激情;故堑迸笥寻,不会分手,不会离开,不会成为熟悉的陌生人。我会试图放过自己,去寻找另一片蓝空。
                
                时过境迁,岁月转瞬即逝,在美好年华里,我们已经不动声色地长成了大人模样,有快乐,也有遗憾。但永远不会忘记,在我心里,曾以朋友的名义深深地爱了一个人好多年。
                

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